never been so afraid of so many things at once before. 

i will be worried and insecure sick when you're with them. 

but its alright as long as you're happy...... 

i guess... 

sensitivity

i'm sorry. tried so hard to just ignore and not care about it..... but whenever i see you online it just.. it just triggers something in me and.. sigh idk. 

i know i cant be insecure. but i cant help it........ fuck i just wish someone stops. 

special day. to me. within my heart. 

EVERYTHING IS OKAY....

hurts. died. 

but keep it cool. 

Life's time is more precious than arguing and showing your unhappiness. 

"always be okay"

FUCK LIFE.

fuck him. fuck school. fuck family. fuck health. fuck life. fuck god. 

fuck everyone.

fuck god for giving me life. 

fuck health for giving me shit every visit. 

fuck family for giving me 'faces'. 

fuck school for shit stress like as if i can take it anymore. 

fuck him for trying fucking hard. fuck him for not knowing his limits. fuck him for trying what he is fucking trying. fuck him for looking. fuck him for having a long future with you. fuck him for having a life better than mine. fuck him for stealing what i had left last to hold on for. 

congratulations to everyone of you. all of you have won in leaving me with nothing. 

and hey you dickshit bastard that killed my last hope, thank you for kicking me where it hurts the most. i have no energy to fight with you. solely based on time, you already have the upper hand. 

i know what you are thinking. bc i did that to court her too. 

i unfollowed you because i feel maybe just him following you is good enough for you. he will be there to favourite and ask about your every single movement. 

"because he understands you." 

rant #1

can people leave you alone already? 

one after another ever since i knew you. be it courtship, relationship or friendship. there's always one out there lurking and being the insecurity between us. or maybe just for me. 

yes there are insecurities you felt but they were fake. straight up they made it clear they are into someone else and straight up i confessed i was taken. 

be it whatever stage, there are always the 3rd person. i dont know if they are the ones that are the 3rd, or if i am. bc i am the one distracting you from them. not them distracting us. 

i'm so tired already.

"the one with no love, will always be the 3rd party. timing does not prove 3rd parties"