First of June.

its first june. 

i'll start afresh. and prove i was not the wrong choice in your life. 

i really want to make you happy. 

i control and put things off, bc i rly want to just focus on you. is it too much pressure on you? 

i'm really sorry. but i really am just as into you as before. i love you. 

and i genuinely want to be better. right now. 

i want to forget those stupid little shits. bc i'm not fine at all. really not fine at all. 

bc i really need you. more than i ever expect, more than you realise. 

i didnt know i would walk into love this easily, i didnt know this walk led me to be this deep into and towards you. 

shits happen.  

i bet all i have on this last chance. i dont know how i will do. but all i know, i never and i can never lose you again. 

bc i can never take it. never. 

actions that are different before, i kill to hope things will be fine again. 

because your smile melt every ounce of me. 

because even my anger can never last towards you. 

i wish i can wake up with amnesia, so i could forget all the shit, and all my thoughts, that kills you, and kills me too. 

i need you everyday, not just weekdays, not just when i'm awake. 

but i need you always. sleeping, weekends, 24/7. i dont expect you to be on your phone talking to me 24/7. i know we need time to do our own things, but i hope it doesnt lead to ignores, nor that its ok to not be there. 

because it is not ok, even if it seems alright. 

iloveyou, and i dont know why i do, so deeply. 

but its YOU.